First off, let me just say that there probably is no greater confession of being a complete and utter dumb ass than claiming to be intelligent. People who boast about being smart, are, at least in my experience, almost always too dumb to live.

That said, I will not claim to be smart. But I do know some stuff.  I am a jack of all trades, and I know a little bit about a lot of stuff. I don’t know a lot about these things. Just enough to be dangerous.

But when it comes to wiring and electronics, I think I know just enough to know that I don’t know a darn thing.

Here’s what I am trying to figure out. I want to build an automatic, liquid level controlling lauter grant.

For those who aren’t hip to the brewing lingo, a grant is basically a pot that our mash tun can drain to via gravity, and will then be drained out with our pump. The purpose of this is fairly simple. Drawing fluid out using the pump creates suction. That suction can compact the grain bed, slowing down the drainage and potentially clogging the mash screen up to the point that nothing will drain. This would be bad. Adding a grant allows the mash tun to drain at its own happy pace. No pressure. No rush. No stuck sparges.

In principle this is a fairly simple concept and at its most basic form, is a fairly straightforward addition to the brewery. But I am not in the mood to go simple. I want to over-engineer the shit out of this thing.

I want to build a grant that will automatically switch our pump on and off depending upon the level of wort within it. I would like the pump to switch on when the wort reaches the top sensor. I don’t want the grant to drain fully, as this would allow air into the system and jack up the pump. As such I need a second sensor near the bottom that would switch the pump off when it reaches that point.

Is this really necessary…absolutely not. But this is what I want to do. So I’m gonna do it. So there. Nuf said.

From what I have been able to gather this kind of set up is possible. Apparently I need to incorporate some kind of double pole double throw relay, an ac to dc transformer, a sold state relay, and a couple of float switches to boot.

Sounds simple enough. Just solder that crap up, and viola!

That would probably be the case if any of that really made much sense to me.

I have found a few wiring diagrams online for such a setup, and to be perfectly honest, they don’t make a lick of damn sense.

I keep staring at them, waiting for understanding and coherence to wash over me. I wait, and then wait some more. I then take a break, eat a red vine or two, then come back and wait even more.

Still nothing. I might as well be reading Sanskrit.

Oh well. Guess I’ll figure something out.

What’s the worst that could happen?